Who would have thought I would ever face a moment of truth like this?
I had an appointment to meet with the Commissioner on Internal Revenue. She’s one of the most powerful persons in the present government. She’s doing an excellent job, in my personal opinion. But for many reasons, this time I needed to represent the company I work for, in order to appeal clemency from her. The back taxes that her bureau is insisting that we pay is going to drive us to the ground. And as I was about to enter her office, a song and a prayer came to my mind.
“I wonder how it must have felt when David stood to face Goliath on a hill. I imagine that he shook with all his might, until You took his hand and held on tight.” (Avalon) I asked for the strength of Jesus, said, “This is it,” and turned the knob to enter the office of the toughest BIR Commissioner this nation has ever had in its history.
I believe we all have our “This is it!” moments. The moment of truth when we have nothing else to cling to except the hand of God, when we are about to literally step out of the boat and walk on water, when we enter into darkness and walk towards unfamiliar territory, or when we cross a bridge and know there’s no turning back.
The other night, my son, Edric, called us to let us know that his wife, Joy, was about to enter into labor. “This is it!” A month ago, my youngest daughter, Nicky, waved goodbye as she was leaving the comfort of our home to live alone in a foreign land. “This is it!” I stood on the aisle of a church and watched the main entrance of the door open, and my eldest daughter, Denise, entered in a beautiful wedding gown to meet Fritz, her groom. “This is it!” Many years ago, I was standing on the dike of my fishpond, alongside a raging river that was about to breach my dike and there was nothing I good do to save the pond. “This is it!”
The temptation is to panic, to take matters into our own hands, to rely on our own intelligence and not the Lord’s, to doubt God, and to cry, “Lord, Lord, why have you forsaken me?” Avalon’s song calls to mind Abraham, “So there he stood upon the hill, Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill. But God in all his sovereignty had better plans; just in time, He brought the lamb.”
Psalm 33: 18-19 says, “The Lord’s eyes are on the reverent, upon those who hope for his gracious help, delivering them from death, keeping them alive in times of famine.” (NAB)
Those of us who have experienced the saving presence of the Lord know this is true from their own personal encounter with Jesus. I know it’s true, because of the countless moments of Truth in my life, when God reveals Himself as the victorious One. It was true, again, in this encounter with the Internal Revenue. And I know it is true in the lives of my dear friends, who faced death at the hands of criminals, friends who faced the prospect of long suffering, friends who were tested by their work, by their studies, by their persecutors.
Our community has a favorite song, taken from Psalm 34. Taking from verse 5 the song goes, “I sought the Lord, He heard me, and delivered from my fears!”
You and I have an awesome God! He WILL make things work for our good (Rom 8:28). Trust Him.
Hi, Eddie. I could almost feel the throbbing of your heart at that moment of , “this is it”. It feels frightening or discomforting for me in very distinct circumstances- perhaps not for you at the BIR because you were there not for a selfish purpose.
Nonetheless our fate is undetermined after stepping out to meet that “this is it” moment – the unknown outcome left in the hands of our Lord. I anxiously await the results of your meeting at the B IR (sic chismatic right there). Your step further was only propelled by your resolve that that is the right thing to do. The fears and the racing thoughts and what ifs no longer matter because the die to do what is right – is cast.
Oh, I can only imagine how you felt ergo, what I felt when I was in your place. But right now, the beating of your heart – it pulsates in this fresh start of your blog. I pray that this beat will resound louder and farther towards its ultimate purpose and destination.
God bless you in this sort of new ministry- This is it, (kuya) Eddie. I am edified that I’m among those who chanced upon this. God bless!
Hi Tito Ed,
Yes Tito Ed, I never thought you could ever be in those moments – you seem to have “no fear” but reading your blog made me admire you all the more. Thank you for sharing your “This is it” moments – your vulnerability and your trust in the Lord.
God bless you!