Imagine the disciples gathered in one room that night. The gospel of John (20:19-31) says that the disciples are afraid of the Jewish leaders, probably because they might be singled out as loyal followers of Jesus and may be arrested and executed also, like Jesus. They lock the doors, keep the lights dim, and speak in hushed voices.
I don’t know about you, but I think that the disciples are not afraid just of the authorities.
I imagine that they must have felt a deep sense of guilt and remorse. Their beloved teacher and master was arrested, tried, tortured and crucified. And all of them ran in panic and fear. They abandoned Him and left Him alone through His trial, torture and crucifixion. Maybe tonight they were even rationalizing their behavior. But I’m almost sure all of them must have felt profound guilt, shame and remorse.
And now there is this puzzling news that He has risen! “What? Jesus is alive?!?!” They look at each other, with mixed feelings. Yes, there was joy and relief. But each one is also probably thinking, “If He is alive, what will He say to us?” Will He even come and join us ever again? After all we abandoned Him. Will He still want to be with us? How do we explain our behavior to Him?
Then all of a sudden Jesus stands among them. Everybody is speechless. They hold their breath. And when Jesus speaks His very first words, He does not accuse, does not warn, does not lash out in disappointment. No.
And before anyone can speak, before anyone can approach him, and beg for His forgiveness, Jesus says, “Peace be with you.” He knows they abandoned Him, but He does not ask: “Why did you abandon me?” “Where were you when I needed you?” Instead, His first greeting is a greeting of reconciliation and pardon. Not even “Hi”, nor “hello”, but … “Peace be with you!”
Jesus restores them before they can defend themselves. Before they ask for forgiveness… before they rationalize … before they prove anything … He offers peace and forgiveness. Peace and forgiveness.
My dear friends, THIS is the heart of the Gospel. This is the key message of the life of Jesus ending in His cross. Of all the lessons we need to learn from the commemoration of Holy Week and the Resurrection it is summed up in this one word: FORGIVENESS.
How many of us carry quiet guilt, unresolved shame, memories of where we failed God. Maybe we’re active in church and community. Maybe we serve … we attend … we even attempt a life of discipleship … but somewhere inside, we wonder: “What does Jesus really think of me?”
Today, during the end of the Easter Octave, let us listen again to His first word to each one of us today. And that word is “Peace”. Not because we got it right. Not because we were faithful. But because He is merciful.
My friends, I don’t know what burdens you carried with you as you journeyed with Jesus during this Holy Week and post-resurrection days. Maybe you gained strength and hope amid your personal adversities and suffering, and you were inspired by the calmness of Jesus during His suffering and death, and you felt encouraged by the resurrection story. Maybe you’re encouraged about how you yourself may be able to overcome and rise above your serious problems and trials, the way Jesus was victorious over death.
But today, hearing the story of the fear, guilt and anxiety of the disciples, let us reflect on our own unworthiness and betrayal of the love of God, our disobedience to His commands and His will, our own self-centeredness, our idols that we value more than anything else that Jesus offers, our token acceptance of the good news, our abandonment of all that Jesus demands of us to shine His light.
Let us call these to mind, right now, and admit that we don’t deserve any consolation, any relief, any gesture of love from Jesus.
And you know what? The moment we do begin to feel genuine remorse, and admit in your heart that you are not worthy, don’t be surprised that Jesus will appear before you in your moment of remorse, don’t be surprised that He will show you the nail wounds in his hands and the nail wound in his side, and then say to you, “Peace be with you. I forgive you.”
This, my dear friends, is the BEST way to appreciate the blood that Jesus shed on the cross.
Today on the Easter Octave, may the story of His resurrection appearance and His offer of peace and forgiveness restore you back into the gracious arms of God.
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